| Part of Something Bigger |
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| Written by Katie | |||
| Monday, 18 January 2010 22:44 | |||
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I sit here, staring at my screen, knowing that what I'm about to type is a horrible contradiction. That, in some ways, this entire website is a horrible contradiction. For a very long time, I have been struck by the idea that, as women and mothers, we sell ourselves short. We look around us and, instead of seeing the wonderful, amazing things that we do, we just see all that we HAVEN'T accomplished. The ways that our friends and neighbors do better than us. The goals we haven't reached. The impossible ideals that we have failed to meet. When I was a kid, I decided to write down my ideas of what would someday make me a good mother. I wish I could find the journal that I put it in. All I can remember now is that I wanted to start teaching my kids the piano from infancy so they would learn it just like they learned to talk. When Noah was born, I did try to put that theory into practice. And you know what? Babies don't do scales. Unless they are prodigies. And mine aren't. I don't think I'm alone. I think that most of us grew up with certain ideas about what life as women, wives and mothers would be. And I bet I wasn't the only one who idealized those images. We dream of fairy tales. Then we go plunge the toilet. I think that a lot of us dream of being part of something bigger. And those of us who stay at home to raise children, very often, are left feeling like society thinks we don't do anything significant. Nothing could be bigger or more significant than raising a child. I believe that. I KNOW that. I also know that nothing could be more difficult and heart-rending. And, for that matter, seem less appreciated most of the time. Awhile back, I started referring to myself as The Fairy Godmartyr. On a daily basis, I sacrifice my own desires in an attempt to make everyone else's dreams come true. But that is just what a mother does. And I'm thrilled to have the opportunity to do it. As someone who went through years of infertility, I am painfully aware of how lucky I am to make those sacrifices. But I still have a desire to do "something bigger." Not something more "important" since I don't think that exists. But something bigger than my life and my family. That's why I moved my blog and started this website. Yes, my personal blog will still be here. You'll still get to here all of my adventures in toilet plunging (two days in a row--you know you're jealous!). But I don't want this space to be all about me. I want it to be about you. For almost two and a half years now, I have written about my life. At the same time, I have read about YOUR lives. I have read the stories of women who have battled infertility. Women who have adopted. Women who have never become mothers. Women who aren't parenting the children they had. Women who haven't had children at all. Some of you have struggled with the challenges of a first child. Some have plowed through single parenthood. Some have agonized over their roles as step-parents. None of you live fairy tale lives. But I can see each one of you pushing on towards your own version of that happily ever after. In short, you inspire me. And again, that is why I have created this website. In hopes that you will share your experiences. That you will see the stories that are worth telling in your own lives. That you will confront the areas where life didn't turn out as you expect, and why everything is still OK despite it all. And that we can compile them here so other women can come and be uplifted. That, in getting past our own myths of how we should be, we can celebrate the good that comes out of the struggles. Because, when you think about it, fairy tales really are like life. The majority of the story is depressing and hard. But it still leads to a happy ending.
If you would like to contribute your story to Grimm Realities, please contact me at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .
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Comments (3)
  written by Regan Butler, January 22, 2010
Well written Katie. I will say that rarely does our life's adventure unfold as we have planned but it is a miracle nonetheless regardless of the sorrow, suffering, disappointments and general junk we wade through. The miracle is there if we just open our eyes to see it.
 written by Jody, January 22, 2010
We are a diverse bunch aren't we? And time after time we sell ourselves short! Here's hoping women flock to you, because it's a beautiful topic to address!
 written by Christina, January 30, 2010
What a cool idea! I do love the opportunity to share a good story... I shall have to mull this over and see what comes to mind!
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