Now, let me explain why that, in and of itself, was a humorous sentence.

I used to teach a yoga class at a local women's gym. I was never TRAINED or CERTIFIED to be a yoga instructor. As a matter of fact, I had never done yoga until I started doing that very class at the gym.  I just did it long enough that when the other teacher decided she didn't want to teach it anymore, they asked me if I would want to take over. So, in my ever-so-qualified state, I proceeded to teach that class for about two years.

Then, I was in a really bad car crash. No, not the one last year--that is way too recent. This crash was in 2002. I just have bad luck with cars. I was stopped at a red light. The person in front of me was stopped. The person behind me was also stopped. The guy in the old tank of a Cadillac who had just consumed "around five" rum and Coke's at the local bar? He didn't notice we were all stopped until he hit the guy behind me while going around 45 mph. I got pancaked. Luckily, I was driving an F150, so I wasn't smashed flat. I was, however, jostled enough to end up with three dislocated ribs and a fractured neck (it took two doctors six weeks to do x-rays and realize my neck was broken and three doctors and a physical therapist over a year of treating me and never realizing my ribs were out of place before a chiropractor diagnosed me and put me back together in three weeks--ASK ME WHY I DON'T TRUST DOCTORS). I had to not only quit teaching yoga, but the pain I was in for two years was enough to make me stop doing yoga altogether. And by the time that chiropractor did what all the king's horses and all the king's men were incapable of, I had two small children and wasn't going to the gym anymore.

So when I was asked to teach this class, all I could think was EIGHT YEARS. It has been almost EIGHT YEARS since the last time I did yoga. This could be interesting. Knowing that I only had a month to be ready to teach, I tackled the task like I always do.

I procrastinated. (Pathetic, yes, but I'm just being honest here.)

For the first couple of weeks, as I went through my daily life I would think about my old classes. I would try to remember the order I would do things in. I'd run through the different postures. But I never did any of it.

And then, my kids got sick. And for the past week and a half, I have had no time to do much of anything except take care of them. And that includes sleeping.

And then I got sick.

But I knew that the show must go on. So, on Saturday, I bought a new yoga DVD and sat down to watch it and get some ideas. My plan was to watch the abbreviated workout on the disc, then try to take a nap (remember, people, NO SLEEP).  By about ten minutes in, I just couldn't take it. My body was craving the yoga. Somehow, seeing it, I knew how it would make me feel and I HAD to do it. It took me almost two hours to get through the hour long workout since I kept having to stop and take care of sick kids. But it felt SO GOOD. And by that night, I was sore in muscles that I forget existed--most of which were in my butt.

I didn't really use the DVD to plan for my class. I went with the things that I did when I was teaching eight years ago. And I still didn't practice those before I went in to teach the class (I'm not sure if that was confidence or foolishness brought on by lack of sleep). Amazingly, I could still do it all. And I didn't fall on my face even once. And everyone seemed to enjoy it.

And now that it's over? I am so ready to start doing yoga again. Just as soon as I get over this blasted cold. I already feel like the sinus pressure may cause my left eye to come shooting out of my head when I'm upright. Bending over and making myself into a pretzel may just push me over the edge.

Until then, I've been focusing on my cardio by plungersizing. Dang kids have plugged the toilet beyond even my talents.

I'm meditating on a plumber in my future.